It's December, Again!

It's December and 2012 is almost over. We have had our ups and downs throughout the year. We both have had our own set of health issues but we are doing much better. We plan to finish 2012 on a strong note; upbeat, positive, and looking forward to a bright future! Below are pics of our Thanksgiving Day spread that we shared with friends. We hope you all will enjoy this holiday/winter season and stay safe and blessed. We all have a lot to be thankful for. 

Holiday Season 2012

I have to admit that Thanksgiving was an awesome start to the holiday season. We enjoyed ourselves immensely. Today went better than either of us could have imagined or tried to predict. We had the opportunity to spend time with family and friends. Below are some pictures of the Thanksgiving spread I made for ourselves and our guests tonight. Enjoy and happy holiday to you all!

Getting Over A Cold

Getting over a cold can sometimes be hard to do. I thought I was coming down with a cold beginning last Monday, slightly sore throat, and sneezing. I also thought I could simply be suffering from allergies, which I do have and take allergy shots for. By last Tuesday, I was doing election related poll work so I took a couple of my infamous shots of day quill along with my adrenaline rush (of knowing my work-related duties were necessary to help ensure the democratic process of voting was alive and well). My first shot of day quill took place first thing in the morning at 5:30 and then again around 12 noon and I was able to get through the day as a result. However by the next morning I began to realize that what I had was not a mere cause of the sniffles or allergy related. I realized that what I appeared to be suffering from was one of those seriously combative, mucus driven, nasty, and drawn-out colds with tons and tons of congestion! I slept most of Wednesday evening hoping the worst of it was behind me, which was not to be the case. By Thursday, things seemed to get progressively worst as the day continued. By the time I laid down to rest Thursday, I felt as if I were being suplexed by a wrestler name the common cold.  It (the cold) had me in its grips, figuratively speaking. I coughed and coughed, moaned in pain from muscle soreness and tenderness, and I often wondered if this was more than a cold. I wondered if I could be suffering from influenza or AKA the flu or just a bad virus. 

That night, I took a nice big healthy dose of night quill and struggled through the night to continue to blow my runny and stuffy nose, while trying to somehow get some shut-eye. Low and behold by the time I awakened Friday morning I honestly believed that I was at least 10 to 15% better and that the worst was behind me now. I stand corrected, it has taken an additional 4 days to get close to feeling like I am okay, can be around people without contaminating them, or over-exerting myself with the simplest of tasks. Even today, Tuesday, November 13th I am still experiencing coughing spells and runny nose-syndrome to no avail. I do hope the last remaining remanents of this cold are long gone before the end of the day or tomorrow for that matter. The bright side slash good news is that there is a very low likeliness or low probability of me getting sick right before Thanks Giving. 

So to say, the state of my union lately has been filled with cough spells, constant runny nose, fatigue, mental anguish (of not being able to do more physically), dry skin (around my nose and areas that have come into frequent contact with Kleenexes and toilet tissue/paper pretty much sucking out any moisture on my face and hands. Luckily I still feel optimistic and I know I will shortly break loose from this cold once and for all!

Halloween

Happy Halloween Everyone!   October has been an adventurous month. It has also been a month that has been very busy, stressful, exciting, and the whole nine yards. When looking back I am proud of the accomplishments of the outgoing month. I am looking forward to the upcoming month and counting down until it begins. Why am I counting down? Why not, I am happy to continue to see what the future holds for us. I have been feeling optimistic about our future and what is in store for us. Halloween this year has fallen on a hump day. The good thing about hump day and Halloween sharing the same day is that when this day is over, there are only two work days to go until the weekend.

New Blog Coming Soon

Yes, today is Friday, September 28th. The month of September has flown by just like most of this year thus far. As the title states, I will be starting a new blog soon to go along with the other blogs I currently haphazardly manage. Why am I added another blog? Well I want to be able to focus on the wonderful joys of good food, good company, and good eats (both locally and possibly internationally). I want to be able to feature many of the wonderful outings we have with our friends, and together as a couple. I am also culinary trained and make weekly succulent gourmet dishes and would like to show case some of my skills. With that stated, the state of my union is doing well today. This has been the first week of my training schedule and I believe (or rather know) that next week will be an even more demanding training week. But it is now or never to launch another blog. When I have the details available, I will share them in a posting. In the meantime, have a wonderful weekend :-)

9-11

Today is a day to remember... 9-11-01 was a morning that will live in infamy, at least in the psyche of American history. Many lost their lives that day. Many sacrificed their lives to try and save others. I am grateful to be here. I am grateful for my life, my husband, my family, dog, etc. I have a lot of gratitude to still be here on this Earth even though I may not have a personal connection to 9-11, other than the collective connection shared by many Americans. Gratitude is so very important to have in one's life and today is simply a reminder of what and why I am grateful.

Labor Day

The state of my union is pretty good today. I picked up my grandmother today from the airport. This was a monumental event, because my grandmother is in her upper 70's and this was the first time she has flown on an airplane in her life!!!! And she went through with it (the flights round trip). She has a fear of flying and she actually conquered it. She actually enjoying flying, which was nice to hear. Therefore the state of my union is good, really good. I cannot complain. Life is good. Things are getting better. I feel very grateful and content. My life is full of love, happiness, and contentment. The state of my union will continue...

The State Of My Union Mid-August

The state of my union is focused on healing.... Almost a week ago I underwent the knife of a skilled surgeon. I have been at home recovering every since... I have focused on positivity, healing, peaceful and lucid thoughts while making sure that my actions matched. This year may have started off on a rocky note literally but things have slowly but surely gotten better over time.We will continue to focus on positive energy, thoughts, and being grateful and see where it leads...

An Example

 If you can't be a good example, then you'll have to be a horrible warning by  Catherine Aird


The quote above is the best way to begin this post. You see we all have visions and dreams of how our lives will go and for some, life stays on course and for others life detours way off course (sometimes never to return to the tracks). Life has a funny way of working out or simply changing course all together. When we least expect it, we face challenges and our own inner fears that we must conquer. As we continue down this road of life, it is important to take time to smell the roses, admire the clouds or radiant blue sky. The way one views life: the past, present, and future is often contingent upon whether the glass is half empty or full. Ignorance is not bliss and one does not need to ignore societal ills to have a good day or positive outlook. Having a positive outlook or sunny disposition can do wonders for your mood, your soul, and even your interpersonal skills with others.

Going forward, I agree that it is better to be a role model or good example. The alternative is simply atrocious. I am not interested in being or becoming a horrible warning for others.

Still Blue

Today, has been just like every other day lately... I am still blue. I have been blue (off and on) for about a month now and I really need to find a way to break the cycle... I have also had a blessing of a double-edged sword (roughly 15 pounds of sweet potatoes) that was given to us. As a baker, I feel obligated (morally and ethically) to create good stuff from them like sweet potato pies, sweet potato rolls, twice baked sweet potatoes and the likes. Because of my blueness I have also craved other starchy and creamy mouth-feel foods like hasselback potatoes, cream cheese biscuits, potatoes and onions, and cupcakes!!! Luckily I have SHARED the decadent items with my spouse's co-workers who have truly enjoyed themselves.

I just need to figure out how to get my mind back in the right place so I can go forward. I am still holding strong at 40 pounds of weight loss so at least that is one thing to be thankful for.

I am still exercising roughly 5 to 6 times a week.

Here are some of the pics of my labors of love. Enjoy!

Hasselback Potatoes 

Coconut topped cupcakes

July is finally here

Ok, like I mentioned before I survived graduation which was an uplifting and positive experience. And now we are on to July and the 2nd half of the year. And yes I am aware that day 182 technically puts us into the 2nd half of the year. I am in the process of regaining my focus. Since graduation has come and gone I had lost focus a bit, or rather the short and long term educational goals were accomplished, I simply had not set new ones. This lead me to be slightly blue for a few weeks. The days of studying, writing papers, researching were over, at least for now. Will I obtain more education? Absolutely! Will I continue on the same path or will I go in another direction? Well, time will tell.. I am torn between two directions: 1) makes the most sense, continue on the current educational path and be done for good in roughly 2.5 years. 2) Is completely out of my element and I would need to take 1.5 years worth of pre-requsites first then I could apply and see if I am even accepted. Both directions I feel would be absolutely rewording, at least in a sentimental and intrinsic way. Option 1 even though it should be straight-forward may not eventually pan out in reference to socio-economic gains (via employment). I think it would be harder to say I have a terminal degree but I am not able to make enough money to: a) pay back the student loans and b) to substantially contribute to my family's economic needs. 
However, option 2 is so out of my element and it is in a field of high-need that I would most likely be in demand. I would probably have a bit more say so in where I work (at least city, state, or region) and it could take my family around the world if we choose (and I play my cards right). Option 2 may even be a bit far fetched even for me, but I have done a lot of impossible things in my days and I understand that sometimes slow and steady really does finish the race. Option 2 take two to three times a long as option 1 but it could also take my family to some interesting place for possible internships (um, we love to travel) and employment opportunities that we are completely down for!

Option 1 is slightly and I mean only slightly cheaper than option 2...


Only time will tell. But I think I need to decide in what direction I will pursue by the end of this month so I can possibly enroll by the start of the Fall 2012 semester.

Graduation was a success

I was fortunate enough to be able to attend my graduation! I am excited and happy, and I feel extremely blessed... Things do sometimes work out. It was a very short trip and it was packed to the brim with activities and very little down time. We flew out on a Thursday night and returned Sunday early evening. I got a chance to partake in several of the graduation activities which were really nice and for me were extremely important. The state of my union is pretty good for the moment. I am very optimistic and positive about our future. More details coming soon.

May 18, 2012

The state of my union is pretty good. Things are not perfect nor will they ever be. Right now I am truly happy for the ability to be able to take some of life's challenges day by day and sometimes minute by minute. I am happy that I have a wonderful and loving spouse who is supportive. I am happy for being able to discern (for the most part) what things in my life I have control over and which things I do not... I am happy that in the afternoons I can spell the honeysuckle trees in my driveway as fragrant as ever. I am greatly appreciative that I can take in the sights and sounds of the birds that hang around our home. Birds are truly fascinating creatures. But I am most relieved that I can now live in the moment, not the past or the future.

Life posses new challenges daily. So do the complicated inter-workings of being human and interacting with other humans. Life is always a little sweeter when you can stop and smell the flowers and appreciate the sweet sounds and sights of nature around us.

The Day after Valentine's Day

This week so far has been a good one. Today the weather has been incredibly nice (about 62 degrees Fahrenheit as a high). Nice, or rather unseasonably warm weather like today makes me hopeful and ready to welcome in Spring. Hopefully spring this year will truly usher in spring like weather for at least two-thirds of the season. I am looking forward to nice warm days with nice, cool, and breezy nights where it is not necessary to run the AC or heat. I am awaiting the butterflies, extra hours of daylight, and all the other positive things we attribute to spring. Even though today has been really nice, I understand the need to take (or practice) one day at a time... Day by day, little by little we can all make positive changes that will have long-lasting influences.

Back in Black....

Or rather in 2012...

I am back and ready to dedicate time to this blog. I plan to add at least one to two entries per week. Let's face it, what is the point in having a blog sit dormant and unused. I have a lot to say and I need to get out there. I am a more positive, determined, and focused person. I can make a difference... I will make a difference...

Entry 4 not 3 out of order

I have always considered myself a helpful person, sometimes to my own detriment. I am not sure why but I always wanted others to be their best and maximize the quality of their lives. Ironically I have half-heartedly applied this idea to my own life. Maybe I wanted others to live to the fullest because I truly did not believe that I deserved the same. Maybe that is why for the past thirty some odd years that I have usually put others first. I have been a caregiver off and on for about 12 years now, forsaken any prospectively decent career opportunities. At times it is very frustrating to care for others. Partly because sometimes people are just people and they are not always looking out for their own interest, even when you are.  I feel like I have wasted twelve years of my life, I feel and disgruntled at times because I convinced me that I was doing the right thing. If I felt better about me, I would have probably let this family member’s children pick up more of the slack as they should considering most are a bit older and have had their chances to focus on careers and become economically sound (if they chose to). I would stop putting me in the barrel with a bunch of crabs that constantly pull you back down when you try to get up and out. Maybe I could then focus on my life and my family because I am finally at a place where I am ready for motherhood. My husband and I are embracing the idea of starting a family. This means that I will need to take care of me first and let the cards fall where they may. 

Entry 2 The Chills

            I believed in the philosophy that if you are going to talk the talk you have to walk the walk. For years I believed that I was talking the talk and walking the walk. I believed that I was always on the receiving end of the short stick, okay most of the time. I believed that life was always made hard and harder by the heartless and often uncaring and nasty actions of others. I believed that the world was evil, full of misery, and that most people (regardless of how they lived) were opportunist in the worst ways. That if the opportunity presented itself that most people would be willing to murder someone simply because they knew they would get away with it. The philosophy I lived by after reading Lord of The Flies by John Golding in high school was that, “Man was inherently evil.” The notion of mankind’s evilness always stayed with me and resonated loudly on a regular basis and through the action of people. People seemed to prove me right and reinforce my belief system every step of the way.

Not all of us crash and burn like I have. Some flourish, at least professionally, financially, or even socially while leaving the essence of their heart and mind in the dumpster or on the basement floor where no one can see. I have been on skid-row emotionally and mentally. Yes it is true that I am not homeless, have not been, nor do I hope to be. Some may even think my pain is trivial and consider it self-loathing.  I also know that by most people’s standards I have not reach anywhere near rock bottom. I know I have hit rock bottom and stayed there for a little while. It is not a pretty place to be, rock bottom that is. In your weakest and deepest moments of despair no one can consul you, nothing said makes things better, you now you are on the brink of a complete and utter emotional and mental meltdown. You know you have most likely gone over the edge, to the point of no returning to the way things used to be. You ache not just mentally and emotionally but physically as well. You want someone or something to stop the pain, the dull ache you feel deep down in your bones. Nothing helps and when you do sleep, it is far from quality zzzs. You pray and hope for anything to come along and end the suffering the despair. You know time will not ease your pain or mend your wombs. You are in panic mood slash self destruct and terminate all systems go. What will change the ending to this story? Is there a happy ending or more misery and sorrow? Time will tell or time will allow the sores and infection to fester and become ripe with unhealthy organism causing the unnecessary and unhealthy decomposition of matter, human flesh, your body and mind. 

Entry 1 The Craziness Inside My Head

Perdition is defined by Webster Merriam dictionary as, “Utter destruction, eternal damnation,” in other words hell.

With the new knowledge I have about my past I realize that my life is and has been in shambles for a while now. This is eerily similar to when I came out of my last severe depression episode about eight years ago that lasted for about three and a half years. My life then felt like it was in shambles, like a mirror that had broken into a million pieces and it was my job  or rather punishment to try and piece it back together while explaining my mental and emotional (if not physical) hiatus for the past three and a half years.

I keep naturally trying to revert back to old habits, old ways of doing things. Why do I insist on doing things that may be detrimental even thought I now know better? I mean the self-destructive thinking patterns and self-hatred I have turned inwards towards myself for almost 31 years now? Because it is habit. As the saying goes, “Old habits are hard to break.” The good news is that the saying does not say or imply that it (old habits) are impossible to break. But habits, especially the bad or destructive ones do take constant vigilance of active reasoning skills that requires one to be cognizant much more. Think about it. Most people are not always cognizant of many or most of their everyday routines. Most people are not extremely aware of the intricacies of getting dressed in the morning, brushing your teeth, starting your daily work or weekend commutes, even if we need to be more vigilant (for safety’s sake).